


Falling Eyes Open

by JustaMinuet



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Credence finally gets a healthy family dynamic, Drama, Families of Choice, Gen, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-02-11
Packaged: 2019-10-26 15:37:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17748635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustaMinuet/pseuds/JustaMinuet
Summary: Mistakes and second chances. True family is the one you choose.





	Falling Eyes Open

**Author's Note:**

> Not second film compliant.

She wasn't made for the winter, was Tina's claim. Cold weather and snow and sleet were beasts that her body could never conquer. She'd sniff and sneeze and cough her way through the months miserable, while Queenie skipped through them with barely a golden hair out of place. Tina blamed this on the fact that she was a summer baby, born to be at odds with the frigid months. Queenie was born in-- was made for the winter. She had an unfair advantage.

It was a silly statement once made by a teenaged girl that didn't want to admit that her younger sister was just a bit heartier than she was. But even in her adult years, Tina stuck by it, out of stubbornness and pride, and maybe a little bit of embarrassment that she was supposed to be the tougher of the two Goldstein sisters, and yet a tiny bit of frost could take her out.

There she was, however, walking down the streets of New York City in late January, the sun having set hours beforehand, boots crunching down on the snow that had begun to fall midafternoon that day. She was freezing and wet. Her nose was red and she knew her legs would burn when she finally went back to the warm apartment that was waiting for her. But Tina simply burrowed further into her coat and walked. She hadn't found him yet and she'd promised to herself and to the boy that she wasn't going to give up until she did. She kept her promises. She'd gotten into the habit of looking throughout the night until Queenie would inevitably find her somehow and force her home.

How many nights had Tina done this? She'd lost count after the second week hit. She couldn't do it during the day, not during work hours. It would be too obvious. She had too many eyes on her nowadays. She'd made a name for herself, alongside Newt Scamander. No promotion outside of getting the position she should've never lost back (of course,), no raise (of course), but suddenly all the expectations in the world were dropped onto Tina's lap. _"We expect big things from you, Ms. Goldstein." "You're a star here now, Ms. Goldstein."_

She loved her job. Tina Goldstein loved her job. She was so proud to become an Auror. So happy to be given back her assignment after Grindelwald's capture. But all the bigwigs there could kiss her ass. Every last one of them, with the exception of Mr. Graves, who was still on the mend after enduring who knew what for months. She'd lead the team that found him tied up in his own basement, sick and malnourished, his usually bright eyes dark, haunted. And yet, when she'd released his bindings, he'd whispered to her in a rough, parched voice, "You cut your hair, Ms. Goldstein. It looks lovely." Graves had always noticed the little things about his subordinates. It had made Tina so honored to work for him. She hoped, she prayed that if she hadn't have been demoted, she would've shown that same mindfulness regarding the monster that had been walking around with Graves' face.

Mr. Graves was a rare gem in a building, she'd come to learn, full of rocks. She still respected the MACUSA. To the extent she thought they deserved, anyway. Obviously, they were necessary. It was all very necessary. And for the most part, she thought the president and her ilk reasonable. Except... Not this. Not with this.

A year ago, she probably would've agreed with their logic. Maybe she'd have even helped them. But this wasn't a year ago and Tina had seen and heard far too much to be who she once was; an Auror who was expected to follow orders and question little. Something that she used to be very good at.

Newt was a terrible influence, apparently. Or a great one, if she listened to Queenie.

Listening to Queenie was why Tina was out in the cold night air to begin with, anyway. Queenie, who had looked at her with a nervous expression, delicate hands ringing. Who'd leaned in and whispered into Tina's ear, as if someone was going to overhear them in their apartment.

_"They think he's alive," she'd murmured like they were once again children spilling secrets under a shared bedsheet._

_"Who?" Tina had asked. She knew. Oh, she somehow already knew. But she needed to **know.**_

_"The Barebone boy. I 'heard' it. It was an accident, Teenie, I swear! They're looking. They're... they're really gonna kill him for sure this time."_

The late-night tracking began then. Every night like clockwork, Tina would go home, eat a quick meal and then be out in the elements for hours searching, before being collected by Queenie. Newt had joined her on a few of her excursions. Didn't seem surprised at all when she told him about the situation. She was... very suspicious of that. Newt wasn't very good at keeping secrets. At least, not with her. Still, Tina didn't pry. There would be time enough for questions and answers. At the moment, her energy was devoted elsewhere.

She took a breath, casted another softly spoken _Appare Vestigium._ Watched the golden dust fly up, up, up, covering trees and buildings, before falling to the ground like the snowflakes that shared the air. She'd tried for days casting the spell the traditional way, pointed to the ground around her, with little to no success. It was Newt who'd suggested to aim higher, literally and figuratively. She thought it absurd at first. Credence was an Obscurial, but he wasn't going to be flying around the city like that. Not without being seen, or causing destruction. Or so Tina thought. Tina was reluctantly learning she was wrong about a lot of things.

The building next to her glittered by its rooftop, and she had to remind herself not to get excited. This had happened time and time again. Magical swipes here and there. On buildings, on trees, the occasional fence deep in an alleyway. Marks that could only be made by something near formless. Somehow, Credence was making his way around, avoiding everyone quite expertly, while also not leaving a single thing behind so much as disheveled. Newt had been delighted and fascinated. Tina was confused. Newt had babbled on about control and how much of it Credence must instinctively have in order to keep the Obscurus in check and how very impressive it was that someone so obviously untaught was such a quick self-learner.

And yes that was all very well and good, but it wasn't going to do Credence much of anything if the MACUSA found him before Tina did.

And she never seemed to do so, no matter how many times she picked up his trail. Where could he possibly go in the city at this time of year? She'd checked every soup kitchen, every dark alley, every place that one would think a young man with nothing to his name and a desperate need to hide from a group of undercover boogiemen would go. She'd even checked the churches.

All but one.

She'd avoided that decrepit place on Pike Street. It was condemned, far too gone to be saved. It sat there empty, a warning sign nailed to its broken door. The city would most likely demolish it come summer when construction would be easier. For now, it was an eyesore to any passing No-Maj and a dark reminder for every wizard.

She'd told herself she wouldn't bother to go there. That it was a waste of time. For so many reasons, he'd avoid it for sure. But maybe... maybe it only took one reason to go back to it.

Where else could he go?

Tina Apparated to the crumbling building, telling herself that she was only rushing because she was sure that he wouldn't be there and once she verified that she'd double back the long way to be properly thorough. She refused to get her hopes up on a whim when whims so rarely worked out. Her heart jumped when she noticed the door was already open, by force, not magic. Just as quickly, she crushed that little spark of hope. Credence wouldn't know the Unlocking Charm, but neither would any other random No-Maj off the street.

It wasn't much warmer inside the crumbling church, but at least the snow wasn't making its way in. Tina's eyes darted back and forth as she tried to adjust to the dark, afraid to use a lighting spell if there were any No-Maj's possibly seeking shelter for the night. Almost all the pews were splintered, chunks of the walls scraped away like they had been clawed at. Posters and pamphlets lay shredded and covered in dust and dirt. All of Mary Lou's hard, cold work gone in one fit of rage by a boy abused one too many times. Tina couldn't find the will to be sympathetic. The work and the woman were gone, but the damage still lingered. Tina could practically feel the other woman's oppressive spirit in the air. She almost couldn't breathe and she wished Newt was visiting this week, because he'd be stumbling along loudly in this building, making odd observations and distracting her enough to forget how much she hated this place.

A soft thud from the upstairs caused Tina instinctively to draw her wand, pointing it upwards, into the darkness. She held her breath, straining to hear any other sign of movement.

"Hello?" she dared. Silence answered her.

She bit her lip, tempted to light the room, but still wary of exposing herself to a potential No-Maj even more so than the appearance of her wand did. At least she could explain that away somehow.

"Credence?" she tried, her voice reedy even to her own ears. "Credence, is that you? Please, don't run away. Please. It's Tina Goldstein. Do you remember me?" she asked, taking a small step toward the balcony. She lowered her arm, wand at her side. "I know everything must seem really confusing right now. You probably have a lot of questions and no one to trust for answers, but I promise I'm not here to hurt you. I want to help. I swear, I just want to help you. Please, let me do that."

The shadows remained quiet and for one moment Tina wondered if maybe her ears had played a trick on her, or maybe it was just an animal scurrying about the rafters. Some city rat that she was inanely talking to like a fool.

But then the wood above her creaked, along with the unmistakable sound of shuffling footsteps. Slow, hesitant. She could feel eyes trying to make her out at the top of the balcony.

Carefully, she lifted her wand. _"Lumos."_

There were so many things to take in. So many thoughts to place in order as Tina gazed up at Credence's pale, illuminated figure as he gripped the balcony railing and gazed down cautiously.

He was alive. He really was alive. Somehow didn't die when a dozen members of the MACUSA attacked him with everything they had. And he looked solid. Stable, at least magically. He was going around the city in his Obscurus form at will, and yet there he stood, a young man you'd pass on the street without noticing. The theories Newt would come up with.

But he also looked tired and wary. He needed a shower, clearly. She could smell him on the downwind. A proper change of clothes, too, if the beige tinge from his shirt and coat down to his pants was anything to go by. He was also far too gaunt, his dirty clothes hanging poorly on him. His natural sharp features were sunken, the skin under his eyes blue.

If Queenie were there, she'd be cooing over him already.

She was definitely not Queenie. "Hi," Tina said. She didn't really know what else to say.

Apparently, neither did Credence. "Hi."

"I'm glad you're okay," she ventured. "I've been looking for you."

He took a quick step back, eyes narrowing. Even with just her wand for light, she could see the edges around him blur like a water painting. "Why?"

Tina put her free hand up in a placating manner. "Because I was worried! Because you need help. Please, don't leave. I'm not trying to hurt you."

His expression was cold, defensive. "You couldn't."

Her eyebrows raised, but she knew better than the take the bait of a scared kid who was trying to act tougher than he felt. "Probably. Credence, listen. I know this all must be overwhelming, maybe even frustrating. You're just trying to figure things out and survive. But there's... Things are happening and you can't stay here forever."

"I don't plan to," he murmured, one foot scuffing the floor. He was solid again, at least.

"Where are you going to go?"

His eyes turned downward. "Someplace. Not here."

No place, then.

Tina inclined her head, tried to use her most soothing, Queenie-like voice. "You could come with me. I- "

Credence's head shot up. "No! Trusting one of you is how... is how everything turned out like _this!"_

His strained voice boomed against the walls, echoed back at them like the building itself was accusing Tina. He was staring at her, tense, and once again he looked to be bleeding black smoke. For a moment, Tina felt small. It was so very obvious to her that, if he really wanted to, Credence could probably rip through her without much trouble. But he hadn't. He hadn't even made an attempt, even though he had been given ample opportunity while in the dark. He wasn't a danger. He was just a young man with too much thrust upon him at once, and no one to take care of him. He was already world-weary and he hadn't even seen the world yet.

"I really--" she bit her lip, scrambled to save this. If he disappeared tonight she'd never find him again. "Okay. Okay, fine. You can stay here if you'd like. I can't stop you. But, promise me you'll actually stay. That you won't just vanish. If you stay here I'll... I'll bring you some food," she bargained. "And some clothing, if I can."

"I don't need food," he retorted, but he gripped his stomach like he was trying to shove down the hunger pangs.

"Let me get you dinner," she said. "Just a little something. Would that be okay?"

It was clear to her that Credence was conflicted, not wanting to rely on a wizard when he already felt betrayed by a society that had rejected him in the most violent of ways, but also very much famished. Ultimately, human needs won out. "I guess."

She stood straight, nervous energy finally creaking in. "Good. Great! Stay here, I'll be right back."

If she wasn't so eager to get back as quickly as she could, Tina would've thought better than to Apparate right in front of Credence, when he was already wary of her. But she was too busy rushing into her apartment complex and running up the stairs, two steps at a time, to really think much on that.

She opened the door hurriedly, nearly slamming it behind her. "Queenie! I found him."

The younger woman poked her head out from the kitchen, a cup of tea in her hands. She smiled. "Oh, Teenie, I knew you would! I felt it. All right. Okay." Queenie tapped her chin, contemplatively. "You think he likes meatloaf? I can heat the leftovers quickly, but maybe I should make something else...?"

"Leftovers are fine," Tina's lips quirked.

Queenie was already back in the kitchen, out of sightlines. "So, he wouldn't come home with you, huh?"

Tina's shoulders sagged. "It's not like I was expecting him to leap at the chance. I just wish he hadn't been so upset when I suggested it. I wish Newt was here. He could talk to him about his Obscurus. Explain it to him way better than I can. Maybe that would make him change his mind, being able to know about that part of himself."

"Oh, honey," Queenie scoffed, walking into the living room and holding out a warm, tin foil covered plate for her sister. "Teenie, honey. Don't get me wrong. Newt's a darling man, but he is probably not what that boy needs right now. I think he'd probably confuse him more than anything," she clicked her tongue. "Besides, you helped him before. He knows that. He'll listen to you, eventually. You just have to be a little patient."

"Yeah," Tina frowned. "I just don't know if we have the time to afford that."

Queenie gently cupped the brunette's face with her hand, sympathetic. "It's going to work out. You'll see."

Tina really wanted to believe her sister. That this was going to work out and not blow up in her face. None of them could afford it to, least of all Credence.

She took a deep breath and Apparated away. The church felt colder this time around, or maybe it was because she'd gotten comfortable from her apartment's warmth. Either way, she shivered in her coat while casting light from her wand.

"Credence?" she called. "Are you still here?"

"Yes," he replied, voice echoing from the back of the loft.

"I'm coming up with food. Is that okay?"

A beat, then, "Yes."

When she reached the top of the stairs, she noted the scattered books shelves, the long, jagged marks on the floorboards. When Mary Lou's body had been found with both severe magical trauma, as well as physical. Mainly, her body fell from a great height. Tina dared to guess just how that happened, and once more felt little empathy.

She spotted Credence up against the wall, back to a dirty window. A small candle was lit in front of him, barely giving any light. He somehow looked even thinner collapsed in on himself like that.

Tina knelt down a couple feet away from him as if she was worried that getting too close to him would cause him to run away like a skittish animal. "Here you go," she slid the plate over. "It's meatloaf, with some green beans. Do you like that?"

He looked suspiciously at her and then the plate, before slowly peeling the tin foil away. The comforting smell of the meatloaf filled the otherwise stale air and Credence's stomach growled in response. He ducked his head, and even with just a candle and her wand, she saw the blush that stained his cheeks.

"You should go ahead and eat it while it's hot," she suggested. "It's good. My sister's a great cook."

He picked up the fork that was stored on the plate, cautiously poking at the meat.

Tina smiled. "It's not poison. _I'm_ not the person who cooked it."

That seemed to get the smallest of grins from Credence, who finally made the decision that the reward was worth the risk and took a bite of the offered food. He stopped chewing for a moment, brown eyes wide with surprise before quickly continuing and almost swallowing it down whole. "Oh. Oh, that's good."

"I just said that!" she chuckled and his grin widened just a bit more.

How weird, to be laughing with a man that, not that long ago, had wreaked havoc on the city. Who had no control of the thing that now rested seemingly docile and tamed deep inside him. How quickly things can change around you.

"You're not a good cook?"

Tina blinked, taken aback. He actually asked her a question. He was engaging in conversation. It was a start.

"I'm fine, actually," she answered. "That was more a joke than anything. But I'm definitely not Queenie."

"Your sister." Credence took another large bite of the meal and almost appeared to deflate, relief etched on his face. "It's really, really good."

"I'll let her know you said that." She resisted offering him the opportunity to come with her to do that himself.

They fell into silence then. Credence eating and Tina waiting. He didn't bother to look up, and given how hungry he clearly was, she didn't blame him. It was only after he finished that he spoke again.

"You vanished."

Tina frowned. "Pardon?"

"When you left before. You just kind of," Credence flailed his arms a bit. "You seemed to just zip up in the air. Vanished."

"Oh," she said, finally understanding. "When I Apparated."

His face was pinched with confusion. "Apper...?"

"Apparated," she repeated. "Apparition. It's a transportation spell. A bit advanced. I could teach it to you one day. If you'd like."

He flinched. "Magic is... it's..."

"It's fine," Tina said, firm but gentle. "There's nothing wrong with magic."

"There's something wrong with mine, isn't there?" he challenged, leaning forward. "That's why those people attacked me."

"There's nothing wrong with you, Credence. Not with your magic and not with you," she swore, hoping she sounded reassuring. "You just lack training. That's not your fault. That shouldn't have happened to you. None of this should've happened to you."

His eyes focused on the candle in front of him. "It did, though."

"I know," she whispered, unable to look at his sullen profile.

There was a long moment of tense quiet, and then, "Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what? Tina asked. "Feeding you?"

"Helping me," he clarified, accusatorily. "Why are you bothering? What's the point? What do you want?"

She shrugged, weak, uncomfortable. "I just want to help you."

His frown deepened. "Why?"

"Can't the reason just be that it's the right thing to do?"

There was a sadness in his eyes that Tina doubted she would ever truly understand. "No one does anything simply because it's the right thing. People are selfish. Or are witches somehow different?" he asked, suspect. "Because they don't seem to act like it."

Tina sighed and rubbed her cold legs with her hands. He had the right to doubt her, to question her motives. Of course, he'd want to know. She'd wanted to know herself the reasons behind her actions, too. The real ones, not just what made her feel noble. It had taken her weeks to admit it, to face this failure, and say it outloud while she looked in a mirror. The very least she could do is admit it to Credence a little faster.

"Because there are people in power who are supposed to oversee our safety," she confessed, forcing herself to hold his gaze. She owed him that much. "Because an infant wizard shouldn't have fallen through the cracks and disappeared, even if a No-Maj adopted him. Because you shouldn't have grown up with your magic suppressed and hurting you. Because you shouldn't have been left alone. Because you should've been known about, educated and taken care of. Because we have a whole division of people whose job it is to protect our own. And you are _our own_ , Credence."  
"Because I'm one of those people, and I didn't do it right the first time." She took a deep breath and willed her heart to stop aching for one moment. "I saved you, but for how long? A day? Two, maybe? Before everything went right back to the way it was for you. And I spent my time feeling sorry for myself because I got demoted doing the right thing. I should've been more insistent. A stupid desk job shouldn't have stopped me from trying harder to get you out. If I had, then maybe..."  
She inhaled, sharply. "The truth is, Credence, I don't like failing. Ever, at anything. I try my hardest to the best at everything I do. But then I met you. I didn't fight management for you because I was too busy wallowing in my childish misery and I left you here. I didn't do half of what I could have, because I was too focused on me, and I told myself that if I kept an eye out on you, on the Salemers I was doing enough." If it weren't for Tina's gloves, she'd be clawing into her own thighs. "It was a lie to make myself feel better.  
"You're right," she admitted. "I'm being selfish. I hate failing. But I can't go back to fix what I didn't do. What I should've done. The only thing I can do now is try to make sure I don't fail you again. And I guess that is pretty self-centered. But," she leaned forward, forgetting about trying to keep the space between them, "it's also because I really want to help you. The right way this time. Because I think you deserve that. If you'll let me."

A kaleidoscope of emotions played out on Credence's face. Anger and sadness and something Tina couldn't quite identify seemed to settle in his eyes. His whole body was hunched and stiff, like he was trying to be as small as possible. Slowly, he pushed the empty plate across the floor towards her. When she reached for the china, he pulled his whole body away, as if burned. She wasn't surprised. She wasn't enchanting like Queenie, or had a warm, harmless air about her like Newt. She was just dull, driven, responsible Porpentina. The pushy, unlikable Goldstein sister. She would have to go home empty handed, tell Queenie how she had managed to spectacularly mess this whole thing up.

"Will you really keep bringing me food if I stay here?"

She looked at him, bewildered. Had she heard him wrong? "You... want me to bring food again?"

He gave a tentative nod. "Tomorrow. If I stay here, you'll do it?"

Tina nodded back, trying her best to clamp down on her hope, lest it was dashed again. "Yes. Yes, of course. As soon as I'm off work."

"All right. Good," he pulled his knees up to his chin and relaxed just a little.

Tina wouldn't question it. Didn't dare to press her luck any further for the night, because she doubted it would hold out much longer if she made the attempt. Standing up, she brushed off her clothing and tried to give Credence her best, kindest smile. "Yes, good. Okay, then. Goodnight, Credence. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow."


End file.
